Nobody Rides Motorcycles, But They Really Should!

Piers Roberts

We hear it time and time again: parking on campus is an absolute nightmare. Yet no matter how much we protest about it nothing ever seems to get done. And with the ongoing expansion of the university, I think it’s coming to a time where we may need to start looking at alternative measures.

Land's End Cornwall featuring SV650 and Bandit 600F - photograph taken by Piers Roberts
Land’s End Cornwall featuring SV650 and Bandit 600F – photograph taken by Piers Roberts

What’s that obnoxious noise coming thundering down Falmouth high street? Oh! Another teenage twonk on a banged up 125cc motorcycle with the exhaust cut off, but why is it that we see so many of them around here? Well, parking around Falmouth is notoriously shocking, just ask anyone who’s been anywhere near Erisey Terrace or any other one of the thousand tiny streets that make up this wonderful town, and they’ll tell you that if you’ve got anything bigger than a Peel P50 (remember that tiny car that Jeremy Clarkson tazzed around the old BBC television centre in?) you’ll find it very hard to find a parking space. Yet you never see anyone on a motorbike struggle for parking. You can dump them outside your shop of choice, or even on the pavement and very few people will even bat an eyelid, but yet it seems like so few people are capitalising on this great deal that motorcyclists have, not forgetting the fact that leather makes everyone at least four times sexier (see Anne Hathaway in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’).

You can buy a 125cc bike for about £600, get your CBT (compulsory basic training) for £100 and a helmet for a few quid and the fluff in your pocket and then suddenly you’re away – free to feel the wind beneath your cheeks and the pouring rain pooling on your crotch… Ah.

If you don’t mind the odd bit of damp and you’ve got a few quid to spare you could be well on your way to never having to worry about parking again. Motorcycles can park pretty much anywhere and nobody will really care, there is ample unutilised bike parking all over the campus – and it’s 100% free! Goodbye £17 a week for a weekly parking pass, which amounts to the grand total of approximately £476 for the academic year – crazy money!

You may still, like so many of us, reminisce about the days when you lived on campus and you took waking up 10 minutes before your 9am lecture for granted. Now you lay lamenting that 7 o’clock alarm blaring in your ears as you rub your eyes and down your morning coffee like a dreaded shot of tequila in club I on a Thursday. You blunder slowly to the bus stop with the rain blasting you in the face, only to find that the bus is too full and it drives straight past you. Those days are over: get on your bike and filter past all the traffic on your way to campus.

Motorcycles are by far the cheapest way to get yourself off your behind and onto the roads, you don’t even need to pass a theory test! And remember, once you’re done with your time at university and you feel like you’re not really bothered about keeping the bike that you’ve built such a wonderful bond with, then you’ll likely get 90% of your initial investment back, due to 125cc bikes holding their value so well.

So if you can put up with the weather, get yourself on a bike and enjoy free parking anywhere, anytime. Or y’know – get the stinkin’ bus.

Interested? Here are some links to get you started: